I'm tired of trying, tired of trying to keep in touch with people. If they aren't willing to make that same effort then why bother... Tired of explaining why I am the way I am. This is me take it or leave it. I don't know why I even care what others think or why it hurts when I consider someone a good friend is slowly distancing themselves...two friends actually... maybe its just my head... my head does that sometimes... runs off into its own world and brings back negativity and I start feeling like shit. But its not I can feel it and as much as I'm trying to remain calm I can feel it. You have the nerve to call me jealous?!? I have every right to be!!!! I work in the health field taking care of those that cant take care of themselves, cant make decisions for my self cause I don't want to upset my parents, a second mom to my youngest siblings, always worrying about everyone else. I'M DONE!!! so please explain to me why your calling me selfish... like its a bad thing. Its a GOOD thing for me right now...
This is all making me realize who my closest friends are. Who are willing to dig me out of a hole that I've dug miles and miles deep and can't crawl out myself... I told myself I will try to keep this blog strictly on things positive but right now I feel like crap. This is me, these are my thoughts for today. I'm on the verge of tears but certain issues aren't worth crying over... I know I'm a good person, and a good friend, and so what if I'm not happy 24/7... at least I'm working on it and its not easy. It comes easy to others and I wonder how the hell do they do it... but I have all this negativity inside of me that I need to let it all out before I can see the sun shining... I don't care if you don't understand or accept it cause if I worry to much over you, I'll never be where I want to be...HAPPY with MYSELF
